I often wonder how an actor accepts a role for a movie. The first and the obvious thing would be the script. Different actors look for different things in a script, but how is it possible that there are so many bad movies made? Is it the director’s fault? Sadly, we can’t point out one individual and say, it’s his fault, because, it is a team thing. The outcome and the success of the movie depend on the synergy of the team. All said and done, some movies just shock me. How can an experienced and salty actor accept a role which in a word, sucks??

I was watching some movie of Sunny Deol’s in the afternoon, where he plays an army major. I watched only the last 15 minutes of the movie, which was enough for me to know that the movie sucks. He is accompanied by 5 of his men, and they are in the process of capturing a point occupied by the Pakistanis (quite obvious!!). So, there are at least 3-4 dozen Pakistanis, each having a rifle, 2 revolvers and at least one grenade launcher and a rocket launcher. Some of them also have machine guns, so you can say the other side had artillery which I think would make our present Border Security Force (BSF) jealous. They are on the higher ground, and their visibility is clear for miles in any direction. Before I forget, it is broad daylight, clear sky conditions, and the land of course is filled with snow.

Sunny Deol is dressed up in fatigues, with a brown coat pulled over and a woolen cap over his head. In one hand, he has the Indian Flag at the end of a long wooden pole, and on the other, a gun (which changes by the minute!). He has grenades, rocket heads, bullets, et al draped on his body, with an assortment of guns and rifles hanging on his back. One would expect him to fall due to his own weight at any moment, but sadly, it doesn’t happen. His sidekick, Arbaz Khan is dressed up in clothes, which for this moment I don’t understand. He also apparently carries an assortment of assault weapons. What struck me in his appearance was his hair. Sporting shoulder length hair, wearing clothes that looked comical, he should have been shooed out of the Army ages ago. Has the Army changed its rules?? So, 6 Indians are going to take on at least 40 Pakistanis. Sounds reasonable, right? Each Indian takes out at least 6 of them, and the job’s done. Not so quickly, mate. Sunny Deol is not the hero in this for nothing!!

The camera zooms in on Sunny, as he is followed by his band (of brothers??). Clutching his rifle in one hand, and the flag in the other, he shouts out a prayer to Wahe Guru as he runs toward the lines. The Pakistanis are already shooting. The bullets hit every inch of the snow all around Sunny Bhai, but don’t touch the air around his body. He starts retaliating with fire and needless to say, each bullet finds its mark. The Pakistanis change tactics, and start shooting rockets out of launchers. Miraculously, like light waves, the rockets disperse around his body to continue on their course again. The rockets, on hitting the ground, blow up into fireballs of fluorescent orange, the color unmatched even by the sun. We see shadows of the smoke everywhere, but none of the fireballs themselves. Meanwhile, 3 Indians have already died. Sunny Bhai, Arbaz and one more guy are running toward the lines with the same ferocity, when all of a sudden, disaster strikes!! A bullet in Sunny Bhai’s left shoulder!!!

As blood squirts and oozes out, the flag slips out of Sunny Bhai’s hand. With reflexes that would surprise a hummingbird, agility that would surprise a deer and a brain that works faster than Chacha Chaudhry’s, our man saves the flag, and tucks it safely. All this while, (a very long while, believe me! The director took his time shooting the disaster aversion!!), there are bullets raining all around Sunny and Arbaz. Yeah, the other man also dies, so there are just 2 Indians against 20-25 Pakistanis. Now, Sunny starts facing the darker side of the battle, as he becomes a dart board for the hailstorm of bullets. They hit him on every part of his upper torso, but Sunny seeing the sunnier side, walks undaunted toward the lines, all the while changing guns and gunning the other men down. He starts putting the grenade and the rocket launcher to full use, and as always, they find their targets (Here’s something interesting. We see huge balls of fire before the rockets hit the targets. What was the director thinking??). So, amidst cries of Wahe Guru and Jai Mata Di, everyone on the Pakistani side is killed. With elephantine effort, Sunny raises the flag and sticks it into the ground. Who am I kidding?? This is Bollywood!! The Pakistani chief commander slowly rises up from the snow, and even after so many bullets striking his body, Sunny starts grappling with him.

But what is special about Arbaz Khan?? In a moment defining role, he lets out a dialogue that boils his enemy’s blood (second-in-command, incidentally!). The dialogue, which should become our motto for all the Indo-Pak talks, which should be on our lips at all time, which should inspire the youth of the country into action, ladies & gentlemen, is –

Doodh maango to hum kheer denge,

Kashmir maango to hum cheer lenge!!

With those inspiring words, he kills the second-in-command. Sunny Bhai, meanwhile, rips his counterpart’s legs apart. He looks around to see many Indian flags lying around (How??) and picks them up and hugs them. In a slow motion, as we hear the strains of Vande Mataram, he falls down on the snow.

The scene changes, the location is the base hospital. The camera focuses upon the red light above the Operation Room, and then pans over some Hindu soldiers praying in a nearby temple, Muslims doing Namaz, a whole division of soldiers standing in attention as it zooms over to a woman (Tabu) and the General. The red light goes off, and the doctor comes out to say that they have operated upon him; they would just have to wait (a medical marvel!!). They maintain a vigil for 7 long days, when Sunny Bhai steps out, covered in bandages and a green shawl. Breaking all protocol, Tabu runs to him to help him down the steps as the whole division comes to attention (weren’t they already in attention??) and salute this great man, who braved more than just bullets to bring glory upon his country and his division.

Thank God they didn’t show him receiving medals and citations. Now, this might have been a real life story, but the director should have the sense to show it the way it was, and not the way it wasn’t. For all those who missed the action, there’s a better movie tonight. Watch “Hero – The love story of a spy” tonight at 8 PM. If that doesn’t have you in splits, you might as well go audition for roles such as these.